you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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