Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
