This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
