last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
