True but thats because hes a fetus.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
