I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
