My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
