Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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