I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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