A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
