My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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