He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
