Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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