so explain again why im purple
no
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
