So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
