So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
