You just made me feel so damn special
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
