are you so shy because you have an std?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
it was like eating out sand paper
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
