You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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