you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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