i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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