so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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