why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
