i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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