You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
