Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
home. puking in laundry basket.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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