I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I need to sanitize my soul.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
