somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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