and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
