Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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