i need an iv and a liver transplant
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just pee around me
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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