I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize