Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize