those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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