she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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