I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
