last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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