Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
