Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
This house was built for laser tag.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
