Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
