we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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