Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
