covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
