So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
