I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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