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actually, I'm a sock model
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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