Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
