Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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