you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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