When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize