If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
