I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
