I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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