just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
