He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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