i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Randomize
