I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
