If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
