Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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