hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize